Seven.
Seven.
Seven years of days. Seven years of choosing life. Seven years of finding light.
Today I celebrate seven years of continuous sobriety and some time before that trying to figure out how to make it stick.
It was an ordinary day. Nothing particularly exciting unless you count Nicolas’s boomeranged “Delhi belly” that came back with explosive force this afternoon. Or a celebratory slice of cheesecake at dinner.
Most days are ordinary. I don’t always remember the miracle. I’m often too absorbed in the ups and downs of my everyday existence. My life is big — filled with friends all over the globe, meaningful paid and volunteer work, and a husband and kid that I adore.
But I don’t think it’s just the big life. I was noting to a friend the other day that recovery no longer feels like something I do but rather something I am. It’s a line that runs through my entire being and a lens for my worldview.
But sometimes, particularly this time of year, I remember the story.
In St. Paul, MN on the morning of December 10, 2016 after a long, dark night, I was able to believe for just long enough that there was another way. And I was able to find the people who could show me how it could be done. And they held me through those sometimes excruciatingly hard early days and helped me believe. And the days added up — one at a time — until today.
2,556 days.
Seven years.
A miracle, really…
A REALLY IMPORTANT P.S.:
If you are struggling with doing something that you don’t want to do anymore, know that you’re not alone. And if that thing is drinking too much or too often or when you really don’t want to but can’t seem to help it, I’m happy to share my experience and more about what worked and works for me. Please feel free to reach out and know that I’ll hold any correspondence in the highest confidence: ec {at} emilycornell.com
You might also enjoy reading my other posts on recovery or checking out a couple of podcasts where I’ve shared my story:
The Unruffled Podcast Episode 109 with Tammi Salas and Sondra Primeaux. In this 2019 episode, I share my story publicly for the first time and chat about the intersection of creativity + recovery.
Make Life Less Difficult with fellow Foreign Service ppouse and coach Lisa Tilstra. I first joined Lisa for Episode 54 where I share how stories saved me and a bit about what it’s like to be a sober EFM (Foreign Service Spouse). In Episode 86, Lisa and I dig a little bit further into my recovery, showing up authentically, and transitions.
